This will be my last journal entry as tomorrow is the final show.  I feel an incredible relief that I have seen this competition right through to the very end.  I am ready to say goodbye to this mansion, the pressure, the competition. I am going to fight this as far as I can, because I have never wanted to win something so much.  It almost hurts me to think about it.  J.D., Marty and I are so different, INXS just have to choose which flavor they like.  I owe it to all my loyal fans throughout the world who have supported me the whole way.  To not give up… I do this for my family, my brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces.  To my family in Australia and in the Philippines and to my friends and colleagues in London. I do this for my parents,  my mother who I love and worship, my beautiful wife Simone. I cannot wait for this magical experience to come to a conclusion. I will never forget my time here and I am proud to stand beside J.D. and Marty.  Tomorrow is a day of celebration and anticipation of which I have only dreamed. Thank you for your love.  I feel it and carry it home in my heart.

Finally got a little taste of freedom, and how sweet it was, driving in my new black Honda Civic through the luscious streets of Beverly Hills! I felt like a millionaire! The new car is awesome, the day was beautiful and life is good!
Our clinic was to co-write a song with Andrew Farriss.  This was such an important clinic as INXS are looking for a lead singer who can not only be awesome on stage and in the studio, but also be able to write & collaborate with Andrew. I came into the session with some lyrical & melodic ideas, just so we had a head start.  Andrew immediately liked some ideas but also had some ideas he was very fond of.  We bounced ideas off each other quite easily, recording on tape ideas that we were happy with and then filling in the blanks.   I had never really written in that style or technique, but I was very proud of the result. I think Andrew enjoyed our collaborative effort and dug the song.  I hope it was enough for him to see that he could write more stuff with me in the future because that is what Andrew is looking for in the new INXS front man. 
For song selection this week we were asked to do anything from the whole competition catalogue.  This was a great opportunity to do any song we wanted to do but for some reason couldn’t.  I chose to do “Bohemian Rhapsody”! It is probably my favorite song of all time.  I didn’t want to do it the first time around because I wanted to show INXS that I was looking to move forward to the future, not back to my past glories.  Having proved I was willing to do that I don't have to prove that anymore, so given a second chance to do the song, I could not give it up again! It is a very challenging song, despite how many times I've done it.  This song could make me if I do it right or ruin me if I fail. 

Elimination day! The final elimination day! I will not miss Wednesdays here. I am glad this was the last one. I am also so relieved and honored that I am in the final three! This has been bigger than I dared hope to dream. Today was the first time I had to sing for survival. I thought for a fact that I was going home today. From Marty & J.D.'s encore, it was obvious they were staying. So I knew it was going to be between Suzie & me, and I know how much INXS loves Suzie - they've rescued her five times from elimination. I started to say goodbye to my fellow Rock Stars. It was no surprise to be in the bottom three - disappointed as I was - but it was a surprise that on preliminary voting I was coming last. Ouch! That Hurt. Especially since I thought I might even get an encore. I felt a certain calm and resilience that was quite foreign to me as I took my place on stage, awaiting what INXS were to bestow upon me. Despite the immense pressure of:

a) being in the bottom three for the first time
b) singing an INXS song to INXS for the first time
c) following two outstanding performances by Suzie and J.D.
d) being last at the end of preliminary voting
e) realizing I was also possibly losing a brand new 2006 Honda Civic if I bombed out
f) being so close to the final!

I was able to pull off one of my best performances to date. I totally lost myself in the moment and that desperation unleashed a side of me that maybe I had forgotten, or that INXS had never seen. It was only after I had finished “What You Need” and heard the crowd that I thought, "maybe I won't be going home today." I am sorry I had to fight it out with Suzie because she has become such a close and dear friend whom I love very much. I know Suzie will be fine as she has won the hearts of the world. She had better be partying now! I can't believe I have made it to the final. This is beyond a dream.

I think today's performance has been my best yet.  My arrangement of "Paint It Black" went down a treat and playing with Dave Navarro was a total honor.  He is an amazing guitarist. And to play on an arrangement of mine with me on stage is an experience I will never forgot.  "Kiss From A Rose" was possibly my most polished performance in this competition.  I enjoyed every second I was on stage because I did not freak myself out with nerves. It was my main goal this week to not stress out and so for that I am very satisfied with myself.  People have asked me why I wear military jackets on stage and my answer is this - I think they look great and that just for the fact I am wearing them while on stage instead of on the battlefield is my little statement of make love not war. I dedicated "Kiss From A Rose" to all of us because we all need a little ray of bright & hope in these dark times. We need angels right now. We need hope for without hope we having nothing. 

We all had personal meetings with INXS. It was the basis of this week's clinic. It was a chance for us to get up-front and personal with the band. They needed to ask us questions for which they needed answers to really get to understand who we are and where we've come from. I was glad they asked me about my theatre background because I knew they were concerned about my 'Rock Legitimacy'. I was able to explain to them why I had been in theatre - it was a better way of making money then waiting tables, while allowing me to work on my music. And I really enjoyed it. I have never regretted any theatre job I've had, especially WE WILL ROCK YOU. I could tell they really liked my diplomacy and good stable nature, but were concerned about my resistance to any conflict that may come my way. I told them that my acts of kindness in the mansion were not signs of weakness in character, but signs of being a team player and willingness to get the job done. The fact that I continued to challenge myself out of my comfort zone should have solidified that. The interview made me want to be part of INXS more than ever. They seem to be such a tight knit unit, it is obvious that they are truly concerned about how well we can all fit and compliment this well-oiled machine.

The songs that INXS have chosen for me this week are “Kiss From A Rose” by Seal and “Paint It Black” by The Rolling Stones. I think it is obvious that INXS wants to see a darker side of my character as these songs certainly delve into the darker psyche. “Kiss From A Rose” is an extremely challenging song vocally, but one of my all time favorites. Us final four contestants have made a pact that when we finish our songs, we have to make sure there is nothing more we could have done to make them better. I am excited to give these songs everything I have. It is going to be a magical show.

Today was a remarkable day.  It started off with JD getting the encore but more importantly INXS, Dave Navarro and us final five contestants got up and performed the new INXS song "Us."  It was an awesome experience to perform with INXS and Dave Navarro and to do something positive for those in desperate need. I hope we can do more in the future. It was J.D. day today.  Not only did he get the encore, he joined us in "Us" and had to sing for survival in the bottom 3.  3 songs in 1 hour- not bad! I was so sure I was going to be in the bottom 3 this week, purely because of 2 reasons:  1. I didn't think I was in the top 2 and 2. I didn’t think I could escape being in the bottom 3 for the 10th time in a row.  I'm so grateful to all those around the world who believe in me.  I appreciate your support so much, and it is for you that I am determined to do my very best.  I want to be worthy of all the love you give me.  THANK YOU.  I don't ever want to let you down.  The bottom 3 this week were Suzie, Jordis and J.D. but it was Jordis who was eliminated this week.  I am so sorry to see my little Jordis go as I will miss her a lot, but I was not really disappointed for her.  With her leaving this competition, it is the beginning of Jordis' new rise to international superstardom. 

Just got back from the performance show and I have had an awakening.  I am sick of making myself all down and sad and worried about my performances.  I am not helping myself in doing that.  Today I got to perform a song I wrote to the world and sing it for my Tita (Auntie) Nucay who passed away a few weeks ago.  I hope the Kaylan family know that "Home In Me " was for them too.  I have sung that song so much better but it was an honest and heartfelt performance.  My heart was racing with adrenalin from just finishing "Hard To Handle" and I found it difficult to regulate my breathing.  I was so nervous about doing "Home In Me" I worked myself into a frenzy.  My hands were shaking from nerves and adrenalin.  I really need to control my nerves and I refuse to let myself get like that again.  What’s the point?  Every day here is a blessing and every hour is an adventure.  The competition is so fierce that I feel the pressure in everything we do.  However, I will NOT let it get to me! I am very proud of what I did today and I am focusing on all that - not those bum notes in "Home In Me". I didn't sing through my nose nor the instrumental breaks so I hope INXS is pleased.  I did get the comment that they didn't see how "Home In Me" related to INXS - musically, probably not much, but as far as the message of the song, it had everything that should relate to INXS. They know how painful it is to lose someone.

The clinic this week was actually a photo shoot for a national Levi’s campaign. Our individual shoot was to show INXS how our characters translated onto film. The group shot of all of us was the Levi’s ad…I think. I love Levi’s and have worn them all my life. This was a great honor to be associated with such a cool rock ‘n roll icon. The outfit I chose for my individual shoot was pretty raunchy - tight very low waist, bootleg black jeans and a tiny white vest. The bone choker and belt were mine and the beads I borrowed from Ellie Mae, our stylist. I usually hate photo shoots as I always think I look different to what the camera captures. There were, however, two shots which caught me off guard, and they were the best shots of the shoot. They were possibly the best shots of me I've ever had.

 

J.D.’s birthday:
Marty and I brought out this 5-foot cake in the shape of wings with Human Being written on them, and we sang Happy Birthday to J.D. He then said, "Will you follow me to the ends of the earth?…” He had this crazed look in his eyes and before I knew it, he grabbed a whole chunk of cake and threw it at us. What ensued was a cake fight of a magnitude I had never seen, and this was my first cake fight! I tried to hide in the corner with a fruit bowl as my shield, but that was pointless. I found myself being an easy target and my only defense was to throw the fruit at the attacking hordes. The mess in the dinning room was unbelievable! Oh my god, what have we done?! What were they thinking giving J.D. such a big cake? Having said that, it was hysterical! The best birthday cake I've ever had. It was total disrespect, but pure rock n roll! Trying to clean up was another deal - we all jumped into the shower, clothes and all- that's how small the group is now- all of us fit into one shower, then we dived into the pool and ended up in the hot tub. I think I was still trying to get cake out of my ear the next morning. Such a typical J.D. way to celebrate!

Elimination Show: I thought for sure I would be singing for survival today but I was never in danger of being in the bottom 3.  That only leads me to conclude I have a hell of a lot of loyal fans who are keeping me safe and for that I am extremely grateful.  I wanted to tell all those who voted for me that I so appreciate your undying support and I hope to keep you proud of what I am doing here.  I can't believe we lost Ty.  All of us here thought he was the one to beat.  His talent and ability is so great, I was sure he would be touring with INXS.  I am still in shock, so please forgive me if I am not making too much sense right now.  His style and charisma is unique and I felt humbled to be in his presence.  He is probably the greatest vocalist I have ever worked with.  I can't believe INXS let him go.  Ty did everything with grace, dignity, intelligence, passion and humor.  I have learned so much from him.  Losing Deanna last week and then Ty this week has been very hard to take.  Above everything, Ty is a true and loyal friend.  I miss him here.  This place is so different without him. I still can't believe it.  It is J.D.'s birthday tomorrow so I am expecting very strange times ahead.  I am happy he will have a great birthday. 

Performance Day: There was such a buzz about last night's show. Everyone was so excited about it. The band and orchestra sounded epic! I felt really confident going into the show that this was going to be a fine moment. The show started with a flashback to our recording clinic and the main focus being J.D.'s lack of preparation. J.D. admitted himself that he just wanted to go in fresh, without much preparation. I didn't want to challenge him on that at the time because 'each to their own' and often it turns out that J.D. is in complete control of the situation. Not this time however. I saw that from the flashback and the comments from INXS and Dave Navarro, J.D. had his back against the wall and I felt for him. That's why I tried to help him out with my comment but I'm not sure if that helped.

I felt so excited about my song and thought “Live and Let Die” went down really well. I felt so relaxed performing. I just forgot to take a big breath before my last big note - I almost passed out! Dave and INXS had some good comments but I also got some negative feedback – Kirk didn’t like me singing over the instrumental break.
Less is more seemed to be the credo of the day and Marty's performance proved that. It's just that we only have a few minutes to impress and show-off - sometimes it's not what you sing, but what you don't sing. Well, I probably will have to sing for survival on Wednesday, because everyone else apart from J.D. was flawless.

Song Selection: I was eagerly awaiting this week’s song selection as I love surprises - but this was the most difficult and heart breaking one to date. “Bohemian Rhapsody” - the Holy Grail of Rock Anthems was up for grabs. Suzie and I were the only ones contesting for it. We both wanted it so badly. I had just come from playing Galileo in “We Will Rock You,” in London, and I was singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” (aka Bo Rhap) 8 times a week. It is my all time favorite song and I love singing it. The only problem is that I have already done another iconic Queen song, "We Will Rock You." I have shown that I can do Queen. Brian May and Roger Taylor personally chose me to play the lead in “We Will Rock You.” Several weeks ago, INXS were saying I hadn't made the transition from stage star to rock star completely, but I have been able to prove otherwise since. If I did Bo Rhap this week, I would be in danger of them saying I was still the stage star, not a rock star - this is purely because I had performed the song on stage every day for 2 years. I feel like I have to show INXS that I have moved on from my days in the theater and that I am looking ahead. By doing Bo Rhap, I would be looking back. I have to let go of the past to move on. It hurt me so much to let Bo Rhap go and I am still reeling from the blow. I hope it is not misunderstood why I am not doing Bo Rhap - it is not an act of selflessness, or weakness of character. In fact, this is the hardest decision I have had to make since being here. I have decided instead to perform “Live and Let Die” by Paul McCartney and Linda McCartney. Being a huge James Bond fan, I can't wait to do it - in a way it is very Bo Rhap-esque in style and form. I am glad I have left Bo Rhap in good hands. Suzie will take care of it beautifully. It still hurts me to hear it, but I am getting over it - there are starving people in Africa. BOOM. Over it.

Performance day! Today's show was totally awesome in every way. I can really tell that the competition is going to be fierce as every one kicked goats today. Even Jordis, despite what she thinks was spectacular. I had to follow Ty's unbelievable "Proud Mary" I felt like screaming "I believe!! Hallelujah!!" after. Such a hard act to follow. Deanna's original "My Truth" went down like crazy! She totally blew me away, so the pressure was on for me not to screw up, "Do or Die." I was nervous because I couldn't remember  the 2nd verse before the show -- I had only written it a couple of days before! However, as the band pumped, I let it rip and came out screaming. I think I did well. I remembered all the lyrics, but I think I did a better rehearsal. The crowd seemed to really like it, so let me just say I am so proud of the world premiere of "Do or Die" -- written in an afternoon, rehearsed in an hour and then performed in front of millions. Is that normal?

Rehearsal with the house band; I walked in a little scared of what the House Band members would think about my original song "Do or Die." Personally, I love “Do or Die” and can't wait to perform it to the world.

Elimination day! I always hate Wednesdays. Today was a little different. They honored me with the encore performance! Apparently, I got high votes this week. When I got up to play "Baby I Love Your Way" for my encore, I just thought it would be great to have Marty and Jordis (who were also honored with high votes this week) to join me singing the song on stage. Never on the Rock Star stage have we performed together, so I thought it would be a real novel thing. I also wanted to prove a point that we are here to support each other. The song was even better than the 1st performance. Finally I get the encore. It was worth the wait. It was truly a mind-blowing experience, and a true honor. Now for the bad part -- Jessica, Suzie and Deanna were in the bottom three this week and had to sing for survival. We lost Jessica yesterday. I have grown to truly love and admire everything about her. I know she will be fine, successful and I can't wait to see what she will achieve.

The clinic. I was pretty impressed with how we preformed our song 'STOP/GO' to Andrew Farriss & Dave Navarro. Our group "The Pool Room" rocked! It was interesting to hear the other group’s song, I thought it was brilliant. There were ideas in there that inspired me, but I was concerned how J.D. found it hard to relate with his group. I feel where he's coming from. I have the some insecurities and inner demons that I’m fighting continually. We all have these demons, so I felt bad that J.D. suffered so much with his. Believe me, I feel his pain and I do understand. Unfortunately though, Dave turned this whole exercise around by saying it wasn't about the best song, it was about who could work the best as a team, so by forfeit our team won the sound system and night out with INXS. I'm pretty proud of us, but also pretty impressed with the other group’s song. There is a really very special group of artists here. I am honored to be still here.

 

The night out with INXS was even better than I had imagined.  We went to "Café des Artistes” and had the whole outside to ourselves.  It was great to speak so candidly to the guys about work, back home in Sydney, loves and loss etc. It was just a great night and the buzz of being out with the guys never ceased.  They are such warm down-to-earth guys. If I win this competition, I will look forward to hanging out with them and be proud to be a part of such a great and humble bunch of blokes!

 

Song selection:  It was more of a case of "SONG SELECTED" as the songs were chosen for us by INXS.  My envelope enclosed the music for "Baby I Love Your Way" by Peter Frampton, and a note from INXS.  The note suggested that I sing this song as it will show a side of my voice they have not seen yet.   I am going to accompany myself on the piano, with a string quartet supporting me, and I am both scared and excited about it!  I hope I can pull this off, because it could be my best performance yet.  However, it is fraught with danger, but I am no stranger to taking risks, so BRING IT! (or as they say in London, “Have It!") I felt really great after the rehearsal with the house band, because they were so supportive and loved my version of the song.  They were the ones who totally encouraged me to do the song this way and their advice was priceless... The song reminds me of being on Greece last year with my wife, this song is for her.  I've even added an ending which I hope she will recognize as a song I had written for her called "All I've Ever Wanted." I am very excited! 

Last Night, Dave Navarro invited us all to his & Tommy Lee’s bar 'Rokbar' and we had a great night.  Dave's genuine generosity never ceases to impress me.  He is a truly awesome guy. 

Performance day: We all seemed to be quite relaxed before the show. I feel that we kinda know what to expect when we arrive: The waiting, the pacing, the rehearsals, the hair, the makeup, the last-minute wardrobe decisions, the catering, being careful not to freak to peak, but to be warmed up enough for the big gig. The crowd was really hyped this week, and it helped to hype us up. This week it was cool that they showed a little bit of the preparation in the house to get to performance readiness. My song went really well, except I got a little too excited in the second verse and forgot a couple of tricks I was going to throw in. I made a conscious effort to make it look as effortless as possible. The crowd seemed to dig it, and so did INXS and Dave Navarro. However, they all said they wanted to see something different from me -- maybe a ballad or something I can accompany myself with on the piano. I would love to do it; however, getting the song of your choice is easier said than done. You gotta understand, I'm a lover not a fighter. It seemed that a lot of us were given the note that we should choose a different type of song next time. I guess that will make this week's song selection more crucial than ever. This experience is getting more surreal every day!

We had a clinic about how to deal with the media and I don't think I did as well as I thought I would. Normally I'm pretty good about press interviews but yesterday I got confused about how to answer press questions. I've had so many interviews and sit down talks in the Rock Star mansion where you can say anything, I found myself telling the media things that should have been kept to the house. I thought it unfair of me to answer a question about who made me feel uncomfortable. I may not agree whole heartedly with the way a certain person may conduct themselves but I should not have divulged that to the media, even if it was the truth. I learned that there are ways to navigate around questions you don't want to answer and you can even choose not to answer the question at all. It is not a test you will be marked on. I hope I get another chance to show what I've learned.

Song Selection: I had really wanted to do "CRAZY" by Seal and put "ALL RIGHT NOW", as my second choice. I know how much Brandon wanted to do "ALL RIGHT NOW" as it is one of his favorite songs of all time. Unfortunately we had a stalemate with Jessica and JD about who's going to do "COME AS YOU ARE", as Brandon selflessly threw "ALL RIGHT NOW" back in the mix and I threw back "CRAZY" so JD could do that. Brandon took the song "IT'S ALL OVER NOW", Jess got her "COME AS YOU ARE" and I ended up with "ALL RIGHT NOW". I am excited about doing it, it is such a classic song and Paul Rodgers is phenomenal. It's ironic he's fronting QUEEN on their tour at the moment and I just did a QUEEN song last week! I guess I just can't keep myself away can I?

Elimination Day, I couldn't believe that Ty and Brandon were in the bottom 3 of votes this week. What the ….? That means anything can happen from now on -- there is no room for error. I so felt for Tara-- she kind of felt she was going to be there again and it broke my heart to see her there today. It made her brilliant performance of “Beautiful Girl” even more potent. She directed the last bit of the song to us all. I believe it was her best performance yet. I was a bit frightened to see what Ty was going to do to sing for survival -- it was like they were teasing a dragon. I have never seen anyone perform with such emotion, raw energy and pure passion. Ty was a dynamo with “Kick”. Sometimes you Kick, sometimes you get kicked! Ty showed why he is the man to beat in this competition. I am in complete awe of him professionally and personally and that stage dive at the end of the song, as if we hadn't already gotten the point!! Brandon had to sing "Devil Inside" and he totally nailed it as he does anything. However, I could tell he let his nerves get to him. I'm sure that's something he'll have to control because it might stop him from showing how awesome he truly is.  However today, we lost Tara-- The beautiful Tara Slone. I will miss her terribly but I know she is going to be fine. She has an album in the can, and I hope her time here will launch her all over again. She is out in the world and the Slone Ranger rides again.

We had another rehearsal with the band. Rafael and Nate continue to amaze me with their perfection. I feel so lucky to be singing “We Will Rock You,” and I will do it for Bryan May, Roger Taylor, Ben Elton and all at the Dominion Theater in London. Their support, love and enthusiasm for what I am doing have been a constant source of inspiration and comfort. They were so wonderful to allow me to be involved in Rock Star; I owe them so much. I was afraid I was leaving the best job I ever had for a show that offered no promises, no guarantees. However, being involved in Rock Star has been totally worth it. This has been a dream come true. I know this is an opportunity of a lifetime, and I know there is something beyond my comprehension. So all the pain of missing my wife and life in London and my family and friends in Australia makes me even more determined to stay as long as I can on Rock Star.

 

I had to open the show with “We Will Rock You.” I had never gone first before, so the pressure was on. As Brooke spoke, Nate pounded the beat so hard. It felt like my heart was pounding louder than the beat!! All the things I wanted to concentrate on -- the song and stuff I learned from the vocal clinic -- flew out the window as I hit the stage. I can't remember much of the performance, but from the crowd response and remarks from INXS and Dave Navarro, I think it went OK. I thought it was collectively our best show yet. I truly have no idea who would have to sing for survival this week, and whoever those three will be won't deserve to be there. It is just the name of the game. I feel so proud to be part of this amazing group of people. In my book, they are stars already.

 

 

Not only was Marty asked to do an encore for "Lithium" he was rewarded with a visit from his sister Liz!! Seeing them together made my heart melt. I knew Marty must have come from a beautiful family because he is so centered and balanced in so many ways, and meeting Liz confirmed it. I am happy for Marty -- he is truly an amazing human being and his performance was inspirational. It couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy.

 

Our vocal clinic was with Ron Anderson, Kirk Pengilly and Dave Navarro. I was amazed at the artists Ron has worked with. The change he was able to achieve with so many of us in such a short time was astonishing. He made me effortlessly sing an F above a high C! The highest note I have ever sang full voice was about a C#, and that was almost bleeding from my ears! He told me that I even had more to achieve, that I could even get an A above that. Whoa! It's a technique I'll have to rehearse and practice so that hopefully one day it will just become second nature. I hope we can have another session or three with Ron. It was a true gift we all received.

 

Song selection. My decision to do “Lola” last week has brought triumph once again because I was promised the uncontested first choice selection for doing so. This week "We Will Rock You" was one of the choices, what a gift. It is one of the greatest rock anthems ever recorded and was written by my good friend and mentor Brian May of Queen. When I saw his name at the top of the music sheet I couldn't get the smile off my face. I know he was probably angry at me for not doing "We Are the Champions" last week, but I hope I make up for it this week. I am so excited about doing it, I could explode. I have no excuse to get it wrong so I better kick ass with it. We are doing the song á la the original recording, just drums, vocals and lead guitar.

 

We were invited to go out to a club called Prey and we were sat in a booth beside Hugh Hefner and some of the playmates. It was a great night. This truly is LALA land!

 

The next morning -- Ouch. I will never drink again!! Had a rehearsal with the house band for "We Will Rock You"; it sounded awesome. Nate on drums is as solid as the rock of Gibraltar, and Raffa on guitar is awesomely, ridiculously incredible. Bryan May would be proud; so would Roger Taylor. I forgot to mention that before our performances all of us rockers sing “We Will Rock You” in the elevator on the way down to the studio. It has become our war cry and our anthem. Queen has now successfully infiltrated every aspect of my life and I am richer because of it.

Elimination day. I am growing to hate Wednesdays more and more every week. Today we lost two people, Heather and Daphna. That was yet another shock to the system. I was prepared for losing one of us, but losing two people makes this competition really go into dangerous territory -- anything can happen so be prepared for anything. Heather is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. We called her "mama" because she was always making sure everyone was OK and happy before she thought of herself. Even though she had been sick this week, she was still more concerned that everyone else had their vitamins, getting enough sleep and putting sunscreen on. Daphna's departure was a shock to me. She is too beautiful for words and I know she will be fine now. Her fears of not being able to support her mother should be comforted by the way she graced herself on the stage. The butterfly girl and the dove have flown, and I will miss them terribly. I hope they know what effect they had on us all. Our room seems very empty now.

Performance Day! It ended up being quite a coup getting "Lola" for several reasons.  1. It is a British song, by The Kinks, and I wanted to send a message to my wife and friends in London that I was thinking of them and showing them my support as they are suffering a lot after the horrific bombings. 2.  I got to do an original arrangement of the song  3.  I got to wear my British Army red coat, even though I lost it in the crowd at one point.
 I felt good about my performance and I think I did well.  However I still got the comment that I was not spontaneous enough (?!!). I might have to do something totally outrageous for my next performance, but if I plan it now, how can I be spontaneous?
I can't believe J.D. was able to dodge that bullet.  He is either the luckiest guy in the world or the smartest, because he struggled so much with "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS" yet he still got better comments than those who I think did much better than him.  Hmmmmmmm…..