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September, 2005 September 6thJust got back from the performance show and I have had an awakening. I am sick of making myself all down and sad and worried about my performances. I am not helping myself in doing that. Today I got to perform a song I wrote to the world and sing it for my Tita (Auntie) Nucay who passed away a few weeks ago. I hope the Kaylan family know that "Home In Me " was for them too. I have sung that song so much better but it was an honest and heartfelt performance. My heart was racing with adrenalin from just finishing "Hard To Handle" and I found it difficult to regulate my breathing. I was so nervous about doing "Home In Me" I worked myself into a frenzy. My hands were shaking from nerves and adrenalin. I really need to control my nerves and I refuse to let myself get like that again. What’s the point? Every day here is a blessing and every hour is an adventure. The competition is so fierce that I feel the pressure in everything we do. However, I will NOT let it get to me! I am very proud of what I did today and I am focusing on all that - not those bum notes in "Home In Me". I didn't sing through my nose nor the instrumental breaks so I hope INXS is pleased. I did get the comment that they didn't see how "Home In Me" related to INXS - musically, probably not much, but as far as the message of the song, it had everything that should relate to INXS. They know how painful it is to lose someone. Comments (388)
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